Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
