Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
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i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
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I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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