can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
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