we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
