An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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