I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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