I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
