Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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