you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
