i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
