Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
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No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
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