Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
