I wanna passion pit in your ass
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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