I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
