When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
