am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
