well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
