She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
