Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
