I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
