omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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