I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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