You just made me feel so damn special
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
