Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
