I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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