im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
