He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
