she smelled like a LAN party
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
