it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
