I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
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Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
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I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize