Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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