Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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