I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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