kristin has been a bad kristin
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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