Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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