Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize