i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
