are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
