so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
