Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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