Got a toothbrush?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
