her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
