TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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