that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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