Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
