Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
