I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
