Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
