You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
