Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
