So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
