Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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