she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Lo siento on account of my penis...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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