2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
