In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize