wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Randomize
