I want to stick my p in your. b.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
