goodnight i made you a song goodbye
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize