i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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