"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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