Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
