She's JV to your varsity
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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