I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
