And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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